I Need Something

Dearest Phoebe,
Daddy is supposed to continue with part deux of our Bollywood Hollywood adventure; however, something cropped up and I just had to write it down.
This morning, you woke up on the wrong side of bed and threw a crying fit that was really driving Mummy up the wall. Mummy administered some corporal punishment as she was really flustered. Daddy stepped away from the fracas as I have sort of disapprove of corporal punishment. Why so? Let me narrate this childhood incident when Daddy was still in primary school.

As a kid in primary school, I was rather rebellious and would drive your Yeye and Nai-nai up the wall but they would hardly use the cane on me or your Da Pou (Daddy's elder brother). Hence, we were rather pampered in our upbringing but there were rare occurences when the cane would be put to good use. There was one caning session involving me and Yeye that got a little out of hand. I suffered a little gash on my thigh that was bleeding slightly. Of course, I was bawling and while Nai-nai was applying some iodine to the wound, Yeye walked in and he apologised.

Well, as you can see, parenting is a rather complex task of managing one's own expectations and emotions as well as maintaining the relationships that connect the individuals that make up the family unit. It also involves establishing the culture and principles of the unit. Mummy and Daddy did read some books on parentings and the occasional articles from periodicals. All these are just basic guidelines but when I made my stance on no or little corporal punishment for you, I related to the incident I narrated earlier and its memory or rather the emotions it invoked, it sort of gave me an inkling of the culture I would like to establish in our household.

I am not saying that Mummy did the wrong thing to hit you but she has her own set of principles she has established. Hence, Daddy stayed away from the fracas. Do let me reiterate the fact that the corporal punishment did more hurt to Mummy than you. The even tougher thing about parenting is not knowing what you have done now will have negative repercussions in the future. How would our current actions and decisions affect you in the future? We wouldn't know till we all get there rite?

With that said, Daddy hopes to be a good parent and I guess if Mummy and Daddy can establish a set of culture and principles which you can make reference from when you choose to be a parent yourself in the future, I guess we can say we have done a fair passable job. However, on a personal level, what I hope to achieve at the end, is to instill in you a passion, something that adds zest to life. It doesn't really matter what you are passionate about (but it has to be legally and morally sound!!). If you are passionate about something, then it would give your life a whole lot more meaning. My legacy would be to pass on to you that very passion and henceforth, I hope you would be able to make it your own. There are a thousand and one ways to mess up your life but only one way to live it. Live it well and live it with passion.

Be good and smile pretty, Daddy Dearest.

Bollywood Hollywood

Dearest Phoebe, Mummy and you were nursing runny noses over the weekend. I guess you caught the flu bug while you were out on excursion last Friday. Mummy should have picked up hers from her colleagues. She finally relented and decided to start on a regime of fish oil supplements. It's supposedly good for your respiratory system and immunity system in general.

Anyway, we begun our long weekend last Friday as Daddy took time off from work to accompany you on your first school excursion to Bollywood Vegetable Farm located in the far-flung corner of Kranji. Well, I must admit that I begun the day with mounting trepidation as I really didn't know how the trip with you would turn out. As you are really sticky with Mummy, this would mark our first outing without Mummy's supervision. What's more, we had the whole day to ourselves as the excursion would end at around noon.

The day started as usual, we arrived at your childcare centre in the morning, as Mummy explained your impending absence, you seem to have this fornlorn look on your face as though you were trying to decide if you should bawl your lungs out or just go with the flow and see how the excursion would go without the presence of Mummy dearest. You chose the latter. After we bade farewell to Mummy, we chilled out at one of the K1 classrooms. We busied ourselves with getting to know our excursion mates. Before we knew it, we were on our way to the Bollywood Veg Farm.

The journey started put smoothly as traffic was smooth. You were quietly sitted in front of Ashley and Aunt Jia Hui. You warmed up soon and was intermittently turning around to play with Ashley. Just before we reached the farm, you wanted to kick off yur shoes and sit on the aisle of the bus! Man, was I in trouble; however, Teacher Bavani must have sensed Daddy's distress and she managed to calm you down by taking you out of my hands.

Ever since you were born, Daddy has never brought you out without Mummy's supervision until last Friday. You are probably all slacked jaw at this point. Well, Daddy has always taken this laid back approach towards parenting, on hindsight, I should have been more proactive since the day you were born. I sort of over-rely on Mummy and conveniently faded into the background. Well, today what must have been a walk in the park for most Daddys was a day of trial and tribulation for me.

Fortunately, you calmed down and we started off the excursion proper. The vegetable farm was wet and muddy. I was more preoccupied with preventing you from falling flat on the slippery terrain while you were fixated with looking for the children's playground (if there was any????). We sort of zipped through the farm but your eyes lit up like saucers when the proprietor, a very genial Uncle Ho Seng introduced us to his Great Danes! You muttered "Big Dog Parade...." and as I recall, you have always been rather comfortable in the presence of your canine friends ever since you were a baby. I guess being born in the Year of the Dog helps somewhat.

The introduction of the Great Danes marked the end of the tour and you fell into a deep sleep just as we stepped into the Poison Ivy Bistro for a sumptuous lunch. We were sitted with Aunt Jia Hui, Ashley and two of your classmates (whose names I have forgetten). You missed out on your chicken chop and fries while Daddy mopped up a sumptuous lunch of organic vegetables and curried meats. I can still recall the taste of their home brewed fig tea which was served at the end of the meal. All the vegetables and most of the condiments used to prepare the lunch were grown on the farm. It was very rustic and a unpretentious affair.

This entry is running the risk of becoming a aimless and meandering stream, so I had better stop writing and continue with part deux of our long weekend in the coming entries. Actually, Daddy needs to go tend to the laundry now.... 8-)

Be good and smile pretty, Daddy Dearest.

Lion-Heart

Dearest Phoebe,
today you took the school van back by yourself and you actually fell asleep. Mummy, Ah Gong and Ah Ma were waiting downstairs to pick you up from the van.
Mummy said that she had to wake you up from your deep slumber. The van attendant said that you didn't cry, I guess you were just too worn from your morning
activities. The reason why Mummy had to make you take the school van back was to make it convenient for you to get home from school.

I remembered that there was a wave of protest from your Aunties and Ah Ma about the decision for you to commute via school van, but with some convincing from Mummy, they relented. I guess Mummy and your grandparents must be waiting anxiously for your arrival this afternoon.

Mummy spoke to the school administration and the personnel involved in the actual ferrying of the students and she decided that you would be in safe hands. The fact that you were the youngest passenger onboard probably made the attendant pay extra attention to you. On a personal note, I really think you are very brave, not by choice nor on your own accord. You just had to be else it would be rather inconvenient for Ah Ma or Ah Gong to pick you up from school as they are getting on in their years.

I remember watching this Disney movie titled "Lion King", an animated tale about a pair of lions surviving on the African sahara. There was this scene where little Simba was talking to his father and he asked what made his father brave. The father replied, "I am only brave when I have to be."

Be good and smile pretty, Daddy Dearest.

Bedside Chats

Dearest Phoebe,

Daddy is also late in my blog entry for the week, unlike Mummy, I do not have a good excuse. OK, just a quick recap of what transpired last weekend. You had a major birthday celebration at the luscious Bukit Batok Civil Service Club last Saturday. You had the company of many family members and some friends too. All the festivity seems to flashed past us real quick as so they say time flies when you are having fun.

As Mummy has mentioned, you have grown from a helpless newborn to a toddler who has already attended three days of childcare to date albeit with a fair bit of tears sacrificed on your part. Alas, that is part and parcel of adjusting to a new learning environment where you have to get used to being apart from your family members.
Daddy also has to make some adjustments as a parent too. I remember when you were just a newborn, I would prop you up on my lap in the evenings just before you have your final feed to have our bedside chats. Sometimes, I would even sing to you to soothe your frazzled nerves as you tended to turn a little cranky at night.

Somehow, these bedside chats have faded into memory as you grew up. At times, I had to leave the bedroom at your demands. However, there was one evening just this week, when we have the chance to rekindle our bedside chats and I naturally broke into that particular song.

It is a Mandarin pop song and its lyrics were about sacrifices one has to make for love while trying to eke a living in contemporary society. I remembered I used to play this song out loud when I was clocking in overtime many years back. In those days, Mummy and I weren't even married.

As I attempted to do justice to the beauty of the poignant lyrics, it seemed to rekindle your memory too and for that timeless moment, we made that connection back to the days when you were just a newborn adjusting to a foreign environment while we were struggling to cope as parents.

These are the priceless and endearing moments I will hold dear and near to my heart. Although the quality of Daddy's singing is wanting, I seriously doubt it will cause any harm to you. In defence, I will quote from a infamous failed contestant of American Idol, William Hung, "But I have had no professional training...".
Be good and smile pretty, Daddy Dearest.

Carpe Diem

Dearest Phoebe,

Mummy hasn't been writing of late but for fairly good reasons. Mummy's busy spending three weeks of leave with you while Ah ma can take her much needed rest and well-deserved break. Clearly, you too, enjoyed mummy's close companionship to the point that you become more clingy towards me, and at times, you refused to go to Ah Ma's house for dinner.

It's really a joy being able to spend more quality time with you. We spend our days doing painting, threading and learning new words and new concepts! You learnt about heating up food in the microwave toaster and cracking and peeling a hard-boiled egg by yourself. We also attended a trial art class at Gymboree where you painted a bus, sun and a rainbow! On that evening, we met up with Daddy and had a sumptuous dinner at Lao Beijing. These days, you enjoyed sitting on the high chair for meals and finally, we could sit down and eat together as a family :-)

Just the other day, you were in the midst of our "in-house" art lesson when you stood up and sang "twinkle twinkle little star". You did it with such gusto and it just brought tears to mummy's eyes. From a helpless infant, you seem to become mummy's little big girl overnight!

Little darling, mummy would really miss these moments at the end of my leave. It is really days like these when we could take things a lot slower as we look at our surroundings, the different shapes and sizes of the leaves on the trees along the road near our house and the different flowers that were grown near our estate. I don't know when the next long break. For now, mummy cherishes every little moment I have with you...

Ageing Superhero

Dearest Phoebe, Daddy is way late with this entry. For the past few evenings, I have been rather wore out, less so than Mummy. She has been taking care of you fulltime for the past few days as she is currently in-between jobs. It is a good break from work for her but being a fulltime caregiver is a lot tougher than being a career woman.

I have witnessed in the past few evenings, harsh admonishments from Mummy as you threw your tantrums. Recently, you seemed to have picked up this bad habit of bossing people around, asking them to move from their seats to requesting them to leave the room. Last evening, it got so bad that Mummy had to administer some corporal punishment, i.e., a couple of good smacks to your diapered bottom. You kept asking me to leave the room and when you were too worn for words, you kept going at it by pointing your index finger at me. Mummy was really furious at you. Frankly, this is the first time I have witnessed so much frustration written on Mummy's flushed face! However, I guess the corporal punishment hurt her in more ways than it did to your bottom.

I have had my fair share of frustration too. There was one evening when we were reading a childrens' activity book with flaps you were supposed to lift to uncover some information. You were bent on tearing off the flaps and our reading session ended abruptly as I threw your book out the bedroom in anger. In short, our evening didn't go well at all. It ended awkwardly as I tried my best to repair the torn flap; Mummy did make you apologise for your behaviour, so here's mine albeit a little late. I am sorry for flinging your book out of the room.

For Daddy's childhood, I do remember my school books and bags becoming missile objects as I drove Yeye up the wall when I was in primary school. I do not have the foggiest notion of what transpired but I still vividly remember my books and bags being thrown. Somehow, such traumatic things have a way of imprinting themselves in your memory permanently. Coupled with Mummy's harsh words, I will, with my inner superhero strength, never subject you to such senseless violent acts. First of all, we do not know the sort of psychological harm it may bring, Second, such acts are definitely not condoned in our household.

In out household, Mummy is the rock solid foundation while Daddy is at times all pumped up by some crazy half-baked harebrained ideas but am quickly grounded by Mummy's wise words. As weird as it may sound now, I draw some inspiration from the song titled "Ageing Superhero" by Newton Faulkner. (PS: He's a real iconclastic singer with the looks of a marijuana chain-smoking Reggae musician but chooses to serenade his fans with his baritone voice and acoustic folk guitar). In "Ageing Superhero", he sings about "The ageing superhero in me is tired. Because he's lived too fast for too long and he still longs to be inspired".

Mummy has a superhero in her too. She's getting tired and she also longs for some inspiration at times. Your smile and a simple hug would do just that. If you behave yourself, I guess it would make her fly! Superheroes have amazing prowess and probably the most popular of them is that of flight. Mummy is doing a super job of holding us together. In my eyes, she doesn't just fly, she soars....

Be good and smile pretty, Daddy Dearest.

Say a little prayer

Yesterday was mummy's first day of leave and we decided to bring you to the temple at arumugam street. Before you were born, Daddy would visit the temple there to pray for your good health and smooth delivery. This time round we went with ah Ma and took the opportunity to thank the goddess for your good health. Just as we were rather engrossed in our offerings etc, you clasped your pair of tiny hands together, looked at the goddess and went " Pai Pai, yesterday baby went fidgets!" Hahahah! It was really funny. Guess you have not gotten over the euphoria you had on saturday! Silly girl...

Dream Catch Me

Dearest Phoebe, you didn't have any classes last Saturday at Trio so you had a little trio gathering of sorts at Fidgets. Your two playmates were Zavier and Ashley! Auntie Michelle was kind enought to offer us a lift to Turf City where Fidgets is located. We meet up with Ashley and her parents there. Mummy and Daddy wanted this to be an opportunity for you to interact with your friends as you rarely have opportunities to do so. Your cousins are all grown up and you are an only child in our household; hence, one of Daddy's fears is that you would lack the social skills and willies that other kids might have as they grow up in a more balanced environment.

BTW, today is Ashley's first day in school (if I remembered correctly), so let's wish her good luck in adapting to her new learning environment.

At Fidgets, when we were together, we spent all our time in the ball pond as we fed the balls into the tube which leads to the cleaning equipment. I was just lifting you and a handful of balls from the pond while you fed them into the tube! Backbreaking work for Daddy! When Mummy took over, your scope of activity expanded beyond the ball pond. Mummy said you had a bad fall while climbing up a sloping platform. Thank goodness it was well padded and the only thing that was badly shaken was probably your composure. I can't say for sure we had achieved the objective of letting you interact with other kids but your mega-watt smile and infectious jubilation during play sufficed to make us feel that the trip was worth its time.

We all worked up a healthy appetite at Fidgets and we adjourned for lunch at an Indonesian restaurant called "Manis Manis". It wasn't our first choice for lunch but the food was rather sumptuous and it wasn't too taxing on our budget. You were comfortably seated in the high chair while lunching on corn nibblets so caringly prepared by Aunt Jia Hui (Ashley's Mummy). You also had sausages and some jar food. You were attempting to feed yourself but I think you got food outside than inside your tummy! 8-)

Your closest interaction with your two playmates came after lunch when all of you were packed together on the coin operated kiddy rides. Mummmy said that you and your playmates took a total of six rides. I noticed that on some rides, you said "Ashley, get off!". This was exactly the sort of anti-social behaviour Mummy and Daddy hope to banish from your system (Sorry, Ashley). Well, I hope with the passing of time plus our occasional admonishment, you will grow up to be a socially well adjusted individual. You would just have to learn to share and be mindful of others.
Be good and smile pretty, Daddy Dearest.

D.I.Y Pedicure